The last couple of days have been a blend of progress and reflection, with moments that reminded me of how far I’ve come and how much further I have to go. Each day brings its own challenges, but also a sense of gratitude for the small victories.
Waking Up to Progress
I woke up on the morning of 9/24, still feeling that familiar sharp pain in my hip as I moved in bed. It seems that my body still needs a bit of time after waking up to ease into the day. Thankfully, after some basic medicines, the pain began to settle, and I managed to get up and prepare for my 60-minute massage appointment.
The massage was a mixed experience—while being on my belly for the first 40 minutes felt uncomfortable and triggered some pain, the last 20 minutes on my back were wonderful! It’s clear that certain positions are still aggravating the nerve, and my massage therapist mentioned perhaps it could be related to the sciatic nerve, possibly impacted by the piriformis muscle. Despite that, I walked out feeling lighter.
Small Wins at the Coffee Shop
After the massage, I dropped by Small Town Coffee Roasters, one of my favorite places. This visit marked a major milestone—it was the first time I walked into any business using only my cane, without crutches. It felt like a huge step forward, both physically and mentally. There’s something comforting about being in familiar surroundings, and today, it felt even more meaningful. Conversations with Jay, Steve, and some of the regulars brought a sense of normalcy, reminding me that I’m making steady progress.
The Evening Wind-Down
Later in the evening, I reflected on the day and the previous week’s progress. It’s been a semi-challenging day—physically and mentally. I’m not sure if it’s the weather or pushing myself harder in PT, but I haven’t felt the daily improvement I’ve come to expect. It’s like a little doubt creeps in, wondering if things are slowing down internally. I’ve also felt some random groin pain, which adds to the uncertainty.
After my men’s mastermind call, I spent a relaxing moment in the breezeway, with Lokah curled up in my lap. That simple act of him resting with me reminded me of the importance of slowing down and listening to my body.
Reflection on Deeper Lessons
As I settled into bed later that night, I found myself reflecting on the deeper lessons my healing journey has been revealing. Sometimes, when progress seems slow or challenges seem overwhelming, I’m reminded of the wisdom in The Gene Keys by Richard Rudd, Letting Go by David Hawkins, and The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. These teachings have been helping me understand that life is often unfolding for our highest potential, even when we can’t always see it.
For a more in-depth exploration of these ideas and how they’ve shaped my journey, you can read the full reflection here: [Read More]
9/26: A Day of Reflection and Movement
Starting the Day Slowly
I woke up feeling slightly better today after a solid night’s sleep, which felt like a real gift. The rain was still coming down from the remnants of the storm, adding a certain stillness to the air. My body was grateful for the extra rest—I’ve realized that sleep is one of the most essential tools in my recovery.
After making a cappuccino, I dove into Cobalt Red, the book I’ve been working through. I’m now halfway through, and the material is heavy but important. It delves deep into the human cost of exploitation in Africa due to cobalt mining. The tragedy in those pages is overwhelming, and as I read, I felt a distinct tension forming in my body. It’s hard to absorb such heartbreaking truths while sitting in the comfort of my own home, knowing that the world outside my window—the birds at the feeder, the gentle sway of trees—is so peaceful compared to the horrors others are facing.
Doctor Visit Check-In
At 1:00 p.m., I had my virtual check-in with the doctor. It was quick but reassuring. We talked about the improvements I’ve seen since 9/17, when the worst of the nerve pain began to subside. The incision seems to be healing well, and my therapy has been helping. The doctor suggested we check back in two weeks and advised me to continue with the exercises and self-care that have been working so far. It’s these small reassurances that give me hope, even when progress feels slow.
Afternoon Reflections & Tension in My Body
By 3:00 p.m., I found myself back in my recliner, watching the rain and birds. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the weather was moving through my body—there was a heaviness and tension I hadn’t felt earlier. Sometimes I wonder how much the external world impacts our inner landscape, how my body and mind seem to sync with the world around me. I didn’t feel clear-headed at all, and my thoughts were scattered. Reading was difficult because I kept drifting between focusing on the words and getting lost in my own thoughts. It’s frustrating when my mind and body aren’t in alignment, but I’ve learned to accept those moments as part of the journey.
I set a short-term goal to do some PT for at least an hour later in the day. I also wanted to take my first bath soak in weeks—something I’ve been putting off but know my body needs.
Walking with One Crutch
Around 4:00 p.m., I decided to work around the house, using just one crutch instead of two. This felt like progress. The cane wasn’t quite working for me earlier in the week, so I opted for the crutch, which gave me the right amount of support without overdoing it. There were a few moments where I walked without pain, but it didn’t last long. Pushing through the initial discomfort is always the hardest part, but as I’ve learned, it’s the only way forward.
Before starting PT, I took 1.4g of kratom, which helped take the edge off and boost my energy. I also microdosed with .2g of mushrooms, which kept me grounded and more mindful during the exercises.
Physical Therapy with a Soundtrack
My PT session today was about an hour long, set to one of my Spotify playlists, which always helps motivate me. I faced out the window, watching the rain as I worked through my exercises—extensions, squats, stretches, and my usual routine. It felt good to get stronger, even if just slightly. Each day is a tiny step forward, but when I look back, I see how far I’ve come.
Here’s my Spotify Playlist from today’s session.
Hurricane Helene Approaching
As the day wrapped up, I kept an eye on the incoming storm. Hurricane Helene is making its way toward us, and the weather predictions show a lot of rain and potential flooding in the area. I snapped a few screenshots of the radar and forecasts earlier—here’s what we’re preparing for over the next few days.
End of the Day
For dinner, I heated up chili beans and cornbread that my mom had made earlier in the week. I sat in my breezeway after, listening to the sound of the rain. It’s rare for the rain to be so loud—it almost sounded like a river running right outside my door. It was a peaceful moment after a long day.
By the time I got to bed, it was nearly 2 a.m., and my eyes were burning. I could hear the rain pouring, and my body felt heavy with exhaustion. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had pushed myself too hard today. I’ve been demanding more of my hip lately, and I’m starting to question whether I’m moving too fast. My lower back was tense, and I could feel the weight of the storm settling into my body.
All I can do is hope that the healing is happening, even when I can’t feel it in the moment. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if you’re making progress or if you’re on the verge of a setback. I pray that my body is doing what it needs to do to heal, and that tomorrow will bring a little more relief.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you made it to the end, I would love to hear from you! 😍
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu – May All Beings Be Happy and Free 🙏