Blog 3 — RAW Journal: Sept 16–17

First Days Living With MRSA

September 16–17, 2025 — Fragile beginnings of learning to live with infection

---

September 16 — Tuesday (Day 2 with confirmed MRSA)

10:45 AM

Woke after about 7.5 hours of sleep. Body stiff, hip achy. Bathroom visit gave me a glimpse of the groundhog outside my window — small reminders that life keeps moving.

Late Morning

Shower. Five minutes on sadhu boards. Twenty minutes of breathwork lying on the living room floor. Tears surfaced as I thought of my nephew, my own childhood, and the bacteria living in me now. I visualized it as conscious, asking silently: What message do you have for me?

Midday

Coffee at my desk, listening to a Jeff Foster talk on non-duality. Felt grounded. Worked with Otter AI and Notion, organizing transcripts and medical notes. A sense of order helped me breathe.

Afternoon

Headed into the shop around 3 PM. Light workflow: a couple of small repairs, some warranty work. On the way home I stopped at the nursery to check on plants. By the time I got back, energy dipped. Left shoulder tense, tenderness across my pec. Rested, massaged the area.

Evening

Dinner: chili beans and cornbread. Later, smoked a small bowl of tobacco in the pipe I bought this week. I’m working with the plant deliberately, learning its medicine.

Night

Gym visit. Hot tub lukewarm, but I stayed an hour. Tried flippers in the pool — enjoyed the feeling of moving freely in the water. Back home: 10 minutes on sadhu boards, 20 minutes of breath. Spent nearly three hours at my desk late into the night, catching up my healing timeline database and processing recordings. Ended the day feeling grounded in focus, but fully aware: this is life with MRSA now.

---

September 17 — Wednesday (Day 3 with confirmed MRSA)

9:30 AM

Woke with about 7 hours of sleep. Oura ring still malfunctioning. Morning stiffness but manageable.

11:30 AM — Asheville Appointment

Bodywork session with Marek. Spent about 30 minutes talking through test results and history. Asked for back and neck work, but the session shifted into deeper pressure than I expected. At one point lying face down, I felt a raw surge of fear — unsafe, unsettled, like the ground beneath me wasn’t steady. Grounded myself with breath, repeating: I am here, now in this.

Normally, I’d be conversing during the work, but this time I stayed quiet, wanting to simply feel and notice. In hindsight, it might have helped to speak up. Afterward I shared how it felt. He encouraged me to voice discomfort sooner, to guide the work as it unfolds. Left with mixed feelings — reminded that next time I need to communicate more clearly.

Afternoon

Cancelled upcomming dental appointment. Met a friend on the Blue Ridge Parkway and went for a ride on a freshly opened section, post Hurricane Helene. Crisp air, open mountains, gratitude to share my favorite Mount Mitchell trail even with a cane. Rested in my hammock in the van afterward before the 90 minute drive home.

Evening

Home by 7:30. Tired. Skipped the gym. Two hours in the hammock, face flushed with heat. Call with Jennifer, who thought I should schedule surgery immediately. I disagreed.

Later, stumbled on a Facebook video by a fellow paraglider pilot. He crashed two years ago and has been struggling with opiates since. The video showed him camping in the Gila National Forest, tapering off his meds, raw and vulnerable. I messaged him, hoping to connect — survivor to survivor, pilot to pilot.

Night

Reflected on the bodywork session. Realized I need to prepare clearer guidance, to speak during the work instead of staying silent. Fatigue heavy, but mind restless. Fell asleep knowing these were the fragile first steps of living with a diagnosis that now had a name.

---

Closing Reflection

Two days in, I was learning how to live with MRSA not as an idea, but as a daily reality. Breathwork, water, rest, and even brief connections with others helped me navigate the fragility. These were the first days of integration — the slow, uneven beginning of life with infection.